Runaway October

Which house­hold chore do you dis­like the most?

I dis­like them all, but the ones that really get me are laun­dry and dishes. It’s a never end­ing bat­tle. As soon as the kitchen is spot­less it’s time to cook a meal. As soon as every scrap of laun­dry is washed and folded it’s time to change into paja­mas or what­not. It’s not like wash­ing win­dows or scrub­bing a toi­let. With those, you’re good for at least a week.

What’s the best museum you’ve ever visited?

I haven’t seen many I guess. I really like all kids muse­ums. Hands on activ­i­ties rock!

It’s Star Wars Day today. I’ve never seen any of the Star Wars movies. What “com­mon” movies haven’t you seen?

I think I’ve got most oldies cov­ered. I don’t see many new ones, so I haven’t seen that Twi­light movie yet. {col­lec­tive gasp from the aduience} Yes, I know.

Join us!

I promise to post soon. There’s so much going on and so much to say, but so lit­tle time. On the other hand, my house is rel­a­tively clean, except for that dang laun­dry. It keeps com­ing back!!

For your enjoyment:

httpv://youtube.com/watch?v=_OBlgSz8sSM

I think I’d spend my day laugh­ing if my kids had this accent.

You have accom­plished a dif­fi­cult task and hear some­one else tak­ing the credit. How do you deal with the situation?

Truth­fully it depends on the task. If Matt claims to fold those pre­vi­ously men­tioned 17 loads of laun­dry… oh well. Actu­ally, it depends on how much of a brat I feel like being. If it’s not some­thing huge like invent­ing a pollution-free renew­able power source then there’s really not much to fight about.

If you had to marry some­one that you presently know unro­man­ti­cally, and spend the rest of your life as their spouse, who would you choose?

Can it be a girl, because I would so marry Nicky. Period. She com­pletes me.

If you knew that in one year you would die sud­denly, would you change any­thing about the way you are liv­ing now?

Absolutely. I’d only have one year to make to huge impres­sion on my chil­dren and fam­ily. I’d need to become the per­sons that I want them to become, but I’d have to do it almost overnight. I’d need to make finan­cial changes as well, so no one is strapped with my debt after I’m gone. I have a long list of things I’d like to do before shuf­fling off this mor­tal coil, but these two things come first.

“Phew!” with a dra­matic swipe across his forehead.

I’ve actu­ally been pretty busy of late. Remem­ber those 17 loads of laun­dry stuffed on the couch that I men­tioned? ALL folded, hung, sorted, orga­nized and put away!! After 3 weeks it was hard to come up with excuses for why it was still there. But I’ve also com­pleted 2 more aprons — one for Grandma Betty’s birth­day, along with match­ing place­mats and one for Nicky’s birth­day. I finally got a new iron­ing board cover made. It’s super sim­ple but took a day because of the nooblets… I mean the kidlets. (Does any­one remem­ber Sixlets? Those were awe­some!) I started a third apron for Ann today. Next up is my bag for the Mar­ket Tote Swap. I have the idea all worked out in my head, I just hope I can trans­fer it to real­ity easily.

So after all that’s done I’m going to start work­ing on some smock­ing and shirring and post­ing items to my Etsy shop. I promise. No more swaps or birth­days and what­not. I’ve found some gor­geous designer prints mixed in with the cheapy cot­tons at JoAnns and have totally scored bolts of them with 50% off coupons. I’m afraid to cut some of them up.

I’ve also been comtem­plat­ing get­ting a cot­tage license to sell the aprons that I’ve been mak­ing. The thing is it’s $100 for a year but I’m not sure if I could cover the cost with any profit I make, ya know? The license gives me the right to make and sell any­thing by Sew Lib­er­ated, for­mally Montes­sori by Hand, where as now I can only make and give such as all that I’ve made so far. It takes me about a week of fid­dling to make an apron because of… interup­tions. The hard­est part is choos­ing the fab­rics — I always worry that some­one will get their apron and go “WTH was she think­ing? This isn’t me at all!” I’m debat­ing on just going it alone, or using some­one else’s pat­terns. Any thoughts?

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Here’s Grandma’s Apron. The reverse is a very pretty white Poppy print.

I read alot of blogs. Alot. I think there’s over 100 in my RSS reader last time I checked. Most of them I just scroll through unless some­thing catches my eye, except for the crafty ones that have to do with fam­ily, kids and such. I’m in love with the ideal that they por­tray — happy lit­tle fam­i­lies who eat organ­i­cally, spend their nights play­ing board games in an immac­u­late and orga­nized house and mom still has time to whip out beau­ti­fully crafted projects every day.

I think it all con­tributes to how shitty I’ve felt about myself lately. I always thought that being a stay at home mom would the the be-all-end-all, but it’s really just a façade for hell. The day I quit my job was the day I turned into everyone’s bitch. All day long peo­ple demand things from me:

• If they’re under 1 year demands are com­mu­ni­cated in ear-shattering, heart-wrenching squalls.
• Between 2 and 18 demands are pro­duced in the form of nerve-grinding whines at the most inop­pur­tune times.
• Over 18 and demands are best dis­guised as guilt or worded in such as way that they make me feel like a total fail­ure for not antic­i­pat­ing the demand sooner. 

I thought every­thing would be per­fect and it’s not even close. There’s a least 10 loads of laun­dry stuffed on the couch that I have no inten­tion of fold­ing. My mom or Declan is more likely to fold it than Matt is. I’ve man­aged two din­ners this week, burnt one and have no plans for any­thing tonight. Mom is want­ing me to start feed­ing Rowan solid food but I know that just trans­lates into more work for me because Matt has never fed Rowan once. I keep get­ting told that I’m not chal­leng­ing Declan enough but I can barely keep the kids in dry pants and full bel­lies. To get time to do some sewing basi­cally means that I put the baby­gate up in the kitchen and ignore every­thing. I’m so so slow that every­thing takes for­ever, If I rush stuff well… the qual­ity goes down.

I have no friends, other than long dis­tance or inter­net ones. I don’t know where I’m even going with this. I need a vaca­tion, but I don’t think I could leave the kids. Nor do I want to, I just want to stop being the 24/7 mom for awhile. But there’s mil­lions of moms in the world and they all seem to be fine. What’s wrong with me? I’m I just super lazy? Do I have to be will­ing to just shut my brain, hopes, wants and per­son­al­ity off for good (because heaven knows the older lit­tle boys get the more they demand)? What hap­pened to Me? When did it become a require­ment that I’m no longer con­sid­ered a per­son, just because I have chil­dren? I feel like a ser­vant and a poorly treated one at that.

Well, I’ve already sent a not so nice email to Matt so I guess I might as well post this too. I’m done wal­low­ing, maybe.

I need to get my thy­roid checked.